It has been a long time since my last blog entry, but I am driven to update it by publishing the outrageous net censorship imposed on mental patients in Jarrowair & Bamal. Private internet on a patient's own laptop is no longer permitted, it has been banned. The mental health power mad Nazis want to stop up from writing about life on the ward & discussing other patients. Well, I was given permission by my former case manager Rita a long time ago to write in my blog about HDU, Jarrowair & Bamal & to discuss other patients with the only imposed condition being that I could only use 1st names, strictly no surnames permitted. So I contacted a close ally in the community on the phone & dictated this blog entry to him to alert the world as to how us mental patients are being denied free access of the net. We do get limited supervised net access on the hospital computer, but facebook & blogs are not permitted. Bloody outrageous, so I complained about this
deprivation of our civil liberties. I will take it to the Ombudsman if my complaint does not overturn the mental ward policy. Anyway,on to other matters, I have been incarcerated here since the 13th December, 1st week in Jarrowair, since then in Bamal. No statement of reasons was furnished to me, which I intend to complain about upon my release from this mental ward imprisonment, as the last time I rang the acting complaints facilitator Colleen to complain about the pharmacy billing me for an antipsychotic injection, she refused to accept it. I was finally given info on why I was incarcerated in the mental ward by my Psychiatrist David nearly a full month after admission, he said it was because I was agitated. I'm no longer on flupenthixol as it was a typical drug which eventually causes tardive dyskinesia, which I am shit scared of getting on long term treatment, so I requested a change to Risperdal, which is an atypical & believed by the eggheads to
carry a much lower risk of developing tardive dyskinesia, which makes me a little happier, however the downside is that it is a larger molecule than the old typicals, so it requires a large bore needle, and the shots with it hurt like fuck. So I pleaded with the heartless fucks to permit me to go on orals, my case manager Russell says it is an option to try an application to the cerebral palsy league to see if they are willing to come to my residence twice per day to witness me taking the orals. However, the application may be knocked back & I may then only have the blue care nurses to do it, but that option would cost over $1k per year, which is just too darned expensive on a disability pension. However, I am plotting to visit my GP upon release from this incarceration to get a script for Risperdal wafer 2mg & then record webcam video to hard disk of myself taking the morning & evening oral dose of risperdal & then uploading it to sendspace & then
sending my case manager Russell the download link. If the heartless fuckers continue to give me risperdal shots even despite witnessing the video footage of compliiance with orals, then they will be overdosing me & putting me at risk of extrapyrimidal side effect symptoms. I outlined this scheme to my case manager Russell & he reckoned I would give then tampered video footage. However, I imagine each video would be approximately 30 seconds long, & at 25 or 30 frames per second, it would amount to a whopping 900 or so still frames one would have to tamper with in each video, which just isn't viable in a single day, it would be a great deal of work. What do they think I am, Superman or something? I met a friendly patient in here named Kathleen. She had a paranoid delusional ideation that there was surveillance on her mobile phone. I mentioned Dr Jock my 2nd opinion psychiatrist & her parents know him from his days in Perth! Another patient inhere is
Beata, a Polish immigrant who thinks about architectural symbols all the time. She wrote out in depth explanation to her shrink to prove her interest in symbols is not a delusion or mental illness. I advised her not to give it to the shrinks or be telling them about how focussed she is on symbols, but she refused to pay heed to my wisdom to keep her thoughts to herself & to not be telling the shrinks anything. The more you tell those shrink bastards, the more they fuck with your brain chemistry. Anyway, I am keeping my distance from her now, as I discovered that she has an acid tongue, she got aggressive with me, raised her voice & insulted me by calling me stupid. Amazingly enough, she turns out to be Colin's girl. He is my friend whom I met during my last mental ward incarceration. There is a nice quiet chap here who hears voices, Thomas is his name, been on the ward since March 2011 for breaking the law. On a forensic order, still awaiting trial,
proceedings went from magistrates court to mental health court & then bounced back to magistrates court as the shrinks believed he was fit for trial. He spent some time in prison & was bashed mercilessly before making it here to the safe confines of the mental ward. He is hoping desperately not to return to prison. Anyway, that is about all the gossip I have to dictate to my ally on the outside over the phone, so I will end it here.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Six Weeks In Chokey
Toowoomba Time & Date: 4:42pm Friday 15th April 2011.
Well, nurse Russell rang me on Monday 28th February 2011 to tell me he was coming to collect me & take me to the Jarrowair locked mental ward. When he arrived he presented me with a statement of reasons, which said the reasons I was being readmitted as in inpatient was because they had identified escalating behaviours similar to the index offence, & evidence of both positive & negative symptoms of schizophrenia despite compliance with medication. It stated that further extended assessment in inpatient setting was required to review medication regime.
The index offence mentioned is the stalking. My former case manager cum nurse (Rita) said that she didn't want any more trivial chit chat communications from me in-between appointments, which I thought implied that I was still able to communicate with her about important matters, so I continued to fax her about topics that I thought were important, but she thought I was stalking her, so go figure. Anyway, one shrink seemed to be angling that I was in love with her (although he didn't explicitly state that), but I wouldn't fall in love with her in a fit, although I did think of her as a friend (big mistake). Rita stated at the tribunal that she blanketly forbid any contact with her in-between appointments, so I don't know if I misunderstood what she said to me, or what.
As for positive symptoms, that is delusional thinking that my former shrink (Dr S.) stated at the tribunal that I was an expert at hiding, but the truth is I haven't had a delusional thought in my head for something going on 5 years now, so where they arrived at the conclusion that I was suffering positive symptoms (delusions) I have no idea. I guess because last time I was stalking my former Queensland Rail work acquaintance (Kerri) I actually was delusional, so they must have thought that if I was stalking now then that must mean I am delusional again, but that conclusion by mental health was erroneous.
As for negative symptoms, that is the hygiene neglect, but that has been going on for years prior to the schizophrenia diagnosis & has nothing to do with schizophrenia. Anyway, a couple of weeks into detention in the chokey, a shrink tells me that unless I have the house plumbing repaired so that the drains work & the hot water system works to enable me to bath & launder clothes, then mental health would put in an application for the Public Trustee to take over my assets. I nearly shit when I heard that threat from mental health. So I told Mum what they said & she had the idea that if I gave her control via enduring power of attorney, that would cut mental health off at the pass, they would not succeed in getting the public trustee to take over assets & finances. So Mum contacted Groom & Lavers lawyers & arranged an appointment to have it done, but mental health couldn't find an escort to take me to the solicitor (escorted leave was all that was granted), so the lawyer came to me in hospital (twice), 2nd time to sign the papers. The shrink was very curious about this state of affairs, & he wanted to know what the lawyer was for, & I replied that it was confidential (in other words none of his fucking business), but he continued to harangue me for information, so I eventually disclosed to the shrink the reason for the solicitor.
I was also told by a shrink that I would be forced to pay $50.00 a day rent after 35 days. This threat also made me shit. The pension isn't much more than $50.00 per day, so they would have been taking nearly all my income as rent & board just to be involuntarily detained in hospital. I mentioned this to the friend I made in hospital (Darrell), his idea was that I was in an acute ward (AMHU - Acute Mental Health Unit) & acute patients aren't charged room & board like other patients. I also asked the Bamal NUM (David) & his idea was the same as Darrell's & he stated that an acute certificate would have been lodged for me, & I would only be charged rent if I refused eventual discharge. So perhaps that shrink was bluffing, but I will just wait & see if I receive any bills from Queensland Health for the hospitalisation for a couple of weeks before I am relieved of this worry.
I attempted to send a fax from Bamal (I was transferred into the unlocked Bamal ward after a couple of weeks in the Jarrowair locked ward based on my word that I wouldn't escape) to my bank to get early maturity on a few thousand to pay the plumbing bill & for the tree removal (tree roots were in the pipe which is why the drains wouldn't function) which came close to $2,300 combined for the two (2) invoices (payment terms 7 days), but the friggin' nurse refused to send the fax (nosey bitch read it & saw it was about finances) on the basis that I was mentally bereft & hence I would require approval from my enduring power of attorney, thus I had to get onto Mum to tell the nurse that it was okay to get the money to pay the tradesmens invoices. So I was bloody regretting that I yielded to that shrink's pressure to tell him what the solicitor was for. Anyway, what did they expect me to friggin' well pay with, they made it a condition of release from hospital that I have the plumbing services restored which was going to cost money, so how the hell did that ignorant bloody nurse expect me to pay the bills if she wasn't going to send the fax? Also, she was adamant it would require my presence at the bank to get early maturity for the portion of my term deposit that I wanted to access, but I told her that I had contacted my bank & they instructed that a faxed signature was fine, but she refused to believe, damned disbelieving whore.
I made two (2) friends in Jarrowair/Bamal (Colin & Darrell). Darrell is a farmer who spent a few grand on the pokies & his wife decided to divorce him on that fact. Her greed knows to bounds, her solicitor tells Darrell that she wants an 80/20 split (80% in her favour) of the assets, which after the bank takes their share is worth $3 million. Darrell is hoping for an amicable (lawyer free) 50/50 split of the family assets. He was in the mental ward because he couldn't sleep, I guess from worry. His shrink prescribed him risperidone, which he says he is happy to take as it makes him feel good. He 1st saw a private shrink who put him on medication which he stopped taking, & then when Queensland Health discovered that fact they put him on an ITO (Involuntary Treatment Order). His tribunal hearing was recent & they were talking of lifting the ITO prior to the next 6 monthly hearing, so they must be happy with him taking his meds without objecting.
Colin is very intelligent, he went to university & he has a bachelor of arts degree. He has some pacing problem & hand spasm thing with agitation of the limbs (arms). He says medication isn't the answer, he doesn't like being drugged against his will (he is on an ITO too), but the medication doesn't appear to have helped him much, he still has the pacing & spasms & limb agitation thing happening. His shrink made it conditional upon release that he accept injected medication together with taking oral meds too, which is a real imposition I believe. When he was discharged he was issued a box of injectable medication vials, which is GP will administer. He works in the library at the Baillie Henderson asylum as a peer support worker, a job which he attained via regular attendance at clubhouse. Colin & I have some overlapping interests, mainly science fiction TV & movies, which we discussed at length during our stay in the mental ward of Toowoomba Base Hospital.
So for 6 weeks I languished in the mental ward, before the shrink would discharge me, once the condition of having the house plumbing repaired had been met. I haven't heard anything about what they continued to believe re the positive symptoms they believed I suffered (i.e. delusions), so I guess after 6 weeks of observation & not hearing a single delusional word come from my mouth, they were satisfied that I was not suffering positive symptoms. When I was 1st admitted, every time I was asked by a mental health professional why I believed I was in hospital, I replied because the stalking had relapsed, but one shrink asked me why I believed that was the case, which led me to doubt that printed reason in the statement of reasons, the shrink seemed to be pushing the angle that I was only in hospital for hygiene neglect due to having non functioning drains & hot water. Don't these shrinks talk to each other? One shrink reckons one thing, another shrink reckons another thing, so they don't seem to communicate. Argument point, I recently asked the most recent shrink I have seen (David) about the taking over of my assets & financial affairs by the public trustee, & he denied it was an option, so the shrinks definitely don't discuss these things with each other.
The same shrink (David) tells me I am currently seeing messages in street signs & car number plates, but I was frustrated by that claim & vehemently denied it, & then he tells me my former case manager cum nurse (Rita) told him this was the case re the messages, so where she got that idea from I don't know, certainly not from me, one potential explanation is that the bitch is trying to railroad me, so I put in a yellow complaint form about it, I haven't heard a response as yet, & I guess I won't hear a single word uttered in response to that particular complaint. I haven't seen messages for something like 5 years, so perhaps she was just mentioning to him my history to familiarize him with my case seeing he is a newly appointed shrink, & he misunderstood what she was telling him? That would be a more believable explanation than to believe Rita was trying to railroad me. So I'll choose to believe that instead, it would be somewhat paranoid to believe she was trying to railroad me, & they tell me I have a problem with paranoia. I guess that is why my diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia.
My 3 weekly injectable medication has been maintained at the 3 weekly level, it hasn't reverted to a 2 weekly jab, which I feared would happen as a result of my hospitalization, so that would appear to suggest that the shrinks are happy that I'm not suffering delusions. However, the medication has changed from zuclopenthixol to flupenthixol, because the former has been struck off the PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme) by the Commonwealth, so to continue to receive a free medication, the drug has to be changed to the latter medication, but my new case manager cum nurse (Russell) tells me that there is a threat that the latter drug will be discontinued from PBS coverage too, so he told me the drug I would be put on in that circumstance, but it was something I haven't heard of before & I am not familiar with, so I am unable to relay here in this blog just what that medication will be in that eventuality.
On Thursday 7 April 2011 I was due for discharge, but my shrink (David) tells me it is a condition of discharge that I permit my case manager entry to my home, but I objected & refused that condition, so he cancelled the discharge & gave me leave instead to return to hospital by Monday 11 April 2011 10:00am. I didn't exploit the leave to go home as I didn't feel like moving stuff from hospital to home & then back to hospital again, so I was happy to remain in the Bamal mental ward until discharge on Monday 11th April 2011. However, early Saturday morning 9th April 2011, a night shift nurse (Deborah?) spotted my mobile & claimed it had a camera & she was going to seize it, I showed her my Forbes Batteries (mobile specialists) letter addressed to "Whom it may concern" stating that they had removed the camera from my Nokia mobile, but her response was that she didn't believe the letter, which implied that she thought I had fabricated it on my computer, she was basically calling me a liar, which infuriated me. So I put in a yellow complaint form about her & took my leave to get my mobile returned & went home for the weekend. Monday morning when I return to the Bamal mental ward, I seek out the NUM (Nurse Unit Manager - David) & complained about the seizure to him in person. He tried activating the camera & saw the message on the screen that it wasn't functional, & then just to be sure, he rang Forbes Batteries to receive confirmation that the camera had been removed, so he gave me permission to have the Nokia with me in the ward, & to boot he wrote on the Forbes Letter his permission, so that any future challenges from disbelieving doubting Thomas nurses would be shot down in flames. When I arrived home I shot off another email to the Queensland Health Staff complaint email address, & the Departmental Liaison Officer (Gwen) rang me this morning to confirm the complaint details, so that is 3 times I have complained about the seizure of my mobile, so I am certain something will come of it. I said to Gwen that I demanded a written apology from the nurse who seized my mobile, but she said that is beyond her control. Mum also rang the NUM (David) & expressed her desire that I receive a written apology for the implied accusation that I was lying about my mobile not having a camera, but he thought that was excessive, his idea was that a verbal apology would do, so it remains to be seen what will happen in response to that complaint about seizure of my cameraless mobile phone.
We were told at one morning meeting that mobile phones with cameras aren't permitted to be in patients possession all throughout Queensland Health hospitals, it isn't just a policy imposed on mental patients. Apparently they are scared a patient will take a photo of another patient with their mobile & thereby violate the photographed patient's confidentiality guaranteed by hospital staff, but Queensland Health will permit a cameraless mobile phone to be in a patient's possession in the ward, & I complied with that condition by having Mum take my mobile to Forbes Batteries & having the camera removed from the mobile, so the seizure of my mobile was a blatant violation of my rights & I am adamant that I receive that apology from that doubting Thomas nurse who believed that I was lying to her. Friggin' disbelieving bitch.
My shrink (David) tells me that I am in the pipeline to be under the care of yet another shrink, this must be the 10th shrink I have had, I am growing weary of this constant merry go round of revolving shrinks. I wish that I could have just the one shrink that I am familiar with & who knows me. He stated that I am also in the pipeline for further hospitalizations, I think if I don't get interests to occupy me besides texting, email & faxing, so that I'm not making a pest of myself (i.e. stalking), thus they want me to attend clubhouse & try to get a job, but all I replied was that I MAY do that, in my book, that is not committing myself. However, I have been bathing daily & laundering my clothes since discharge, so hopefully that alone will be enough to keep mental health off my back & nip any further hospitalizations in the bud. That was what my former case manager cum nurse (Rita) was always harping on about (hygiene), so I think that was mental health's major concern.
Another patient I am familiar with from hospitalization 5 years ago & who is still in hospital, is Jim. He has been an inpatient for decades, he is constantly shunted between Baillie Henderson asylum for the intractable cases & Jarrowair locked ward & Bamal. I showed him my Forbes Batteries letter & he followed suit & took his mobile phone to them to have the camera removed. So he got his mobile returned to him this week & I rang him yesterday & he is very happy that he now has a cameraless mobile he is permitted to have in the ward, so I am pleased for him. He has a persecutory delusion that doctors have tried to kill him & that being in the mental ward is unwarranted, he thinks that there is nothing wrong with him, & he has contacted lawyers & put in a complaint to the Health Commission or somebody, & now he thinks he is imminently due to receive hundreds of millions of dollars from Queensland Health in compensation for each jab he has been forced to take. One nurse asked him if he intended to escape from the Bamal locked ward, a question which upset Jim, he says he has never given a thought to escape & wouldn't dream of it. I don't blame him for getting upset by that nurse's suspicion he was an escape risk.
I originally found out about Forbes Batteries ability to remove cameras from mobile phones from Darrell, he was the 1st one to think of it & take his mobile to Forbes to have the camera removed. When he showed me his letter, I followed suit & had the camera removed from my mobile too, & then when I showed my letter to Jim, he followed suit too. So that is at least 3 of us that I know about who have had Forbes Batteries remove cameras from mobile phones. Jim is bound to show off his letter to other patients, so I have no doubt that we will not be the only 3 patients to exploit Forbes Batteries mobile phone modification service.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Sack Bayntun
Jeez, I am praying that the workshops is QR National now, just so that whore Robyn Bayntun ends up sacked.
Workshops made me redundant in '94 just so they could give her my duties to keep her busy, because she was just sitting up there in the top office picking her nose all day, & maggot wanted her to be busy.
So sack the AO2 & give the duties to the AO3.
Didn't make sense, she should have been the one to get the ass, she was costing them a higher salary than I was.
But she was Jim Searston's pet, everybody reckoned he was shagging her, & I bet that is true, because Rebecca Channing told me she saw Searston driving Bayntun's car one weekend, so the pair must have been screwing each other.
Sometimes Bayntun would be on the phone whispering sweet nothings, & I often imagined it was Searston on the other end of the line, but I didn't know that for certain.
Searston was on the job panel who interviewed her for the workshops AO3 vacancy, he used his influence to get her the job.
Bloody stinks.
Just a few months after she got the AO3 job was when I was made redundant.
You can't tell me they went from needing office staff one day & then suddenly having an excess of office staff just a few months down the track.
Assholes rigged it.
Yours Friend,
James Patrick Darcy
16 Bothwell Street
Newtown (Toowoomba)
Queensland 4350
Australia
16 Bothwell Street
Newtown (Toowoomba)
Queensland 4350
Australia
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Behaviourism
Dear Dr Jock,
I just read the intro to Humanizing Madness & I loved the bit about behaviourism where abnormal behaviour is learnt & can be unlearnt too. I have definitely unlearnt my abnormal behaviour. Guaranteed I won't relapse if drugs cease. I also liked the bit you said about a non biological account can describe mental disorders, which is good, because if it is non biological (i.e. dopamine neurotransmitters aren't faulty) then no drugs are required to rectify. So I have changed my mind, I will tell the truth about my delusional paranoid ideations years ago when you do the Skype assessment, because your diagnosis will be based on the non biological understanding of mental illness & hence I won't need to be drugged. Yippee!
Yours Faithfully,
James Patrick Darcy
16 Bothwell Street
Newtown (Toowoomba)
Queensland 4350
Australia
16 Bothwell Street
Newtown (Toowoomba)
Queensland 4350
Australia
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Favourable 2nd Opinion
Toowoomba Time & Date: 10:51am Sun 20 Feb 2011.
Well, my sympathetic Darwin Northern Territory Psychiatrist (Dr Jock) tells me there is no compelling reason for me to be on a Forensic Order, so he is currently working on a favourable 2nd opinion report which I will have in my possession next week some time. He will further send me the procedure for cross examining the tribunal, but I am not confident in my ability to cross examine them, thus I put out feelers to Shine Lawyers, but Dr Jock warned against hiring any commercial lawyers at this early stage as it would be premature, so I cancelled. Then I remembered the non for profit organization TASC (The Advocacy and Support Centre) represented me in court when I was charged with stalking, so I sent out feelers to them to see if they are willing to brief themselves on Dr Jock's favourable 2nd opinion & do the cross examination of the tribunal. Dr Jock warns that in all likelihood the tribunal will still refuse to lift the Forensic Order, as Dr Jock isn't a registered Queensland Psychiatrist & furthermore the tribunal would want to cross examine the author of the favourable 2nd opinion, but Dr Jock can't be present at the hearing as he lives a long distance from Toowoomba. I wonder if mental health would be willing to install a speakerphone in the meeting room so that we could have a phone hookup with Dr Jock in Darwin NT to enable the tribunal to do a cross examination of him being the author of the favourable 2nd opinion?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
AntiPsychiatry Thrill!
Toowoomba Time & Date: 10:57pm Tue 15 Feb 2011.
Just recently I discovered to my delight an antipsychiatry website at http://www.antipsychiatry.org which has a list of mental health professionals who do not believe in mental illness & involuntary treatment. They also had a link to a video posted on YouTube by Dr "Jock" at Darwin in the Northern Territory here in Australia. So I contacted him & he advised he is willing to review my clinical report, with no fee charged at this stage just to review the documents, & he will provide a 2nd opinion on my case. However, he warned that he is not registered in Queensland, so even if he provides a positive 2nd opinion stating that I do not need involuntary treatment imposed on me, the mental health tribunal & Queensland Health may reject his 2nd opinion. However, I have told him if that is the case, then I will commit to recompensing him whatever time & effort would be required on his part to become registered in Queensland to thereby force the mental health tribunal & Queensland Health to accept his 2nd opinion & finally let me off this involuntary treatment merry go round nightmare & say good riddance to mental health once & for all. I faxed him the last copy of my clinical report which was issued to me in September 2010 as my Case Manager cum Nurse (Rita F.) refused my request for her to fax Dr Jock the clinical report, but she has however done an express order on updating it & the new updated version is with my Psychiatrist (Dr. S) awaiting review & endorsement via signature, so it will be about a week before it is issued to me. Dr Jock says he wants the updated copy too when it is issued to me, so when I have it I will fax him a copy. I have commented to Dr Jock on the old clinical report to assist him to make his assessment of my case, & I will submit further comment to him on whatever amendments exist in the new updated report which I am awaiting to be issued. There is also a sympathetic Psychologist named Dr Maureen in Adelaide South Australia, but I have decided not to contact her for an opinion on my case unless Dr Jock's opinion is unfavourable. Dr Jock advised me he is not totally opposed to involuntary treatment, but he only exercises that option in rare & exceptional cases, which is pleasing to hear, I just hope & pray that I'm not an example of one of those rare & exceptional cases.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Fallout! (Tetris Clone)
Toowoomba Time & Date: 10:29am Mon 14 Feb 2011.
My custom DOS Fallout! (Tetris Clone) Score Editor has now been included on a website for download by enthusiasts. You can download the game & the custom score editor by going to http://www.download-central.ws/DOS/Tetris/F/Fallout/
You will require DOSBox to run the DOS Fallout! game, you can download it from www.dosbox.com.
You will require DOSBox to run the DOS Fallout! game, you can download it from www.dosbox.com.
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